What You Need to Know About the Experience of Being Bullied
Bullying is often thought of as a problem limited to school playgrounds, but adults can also experience bullying in various settings, such as workplaces, social circles, neighbours, or even within families. The experience of being bullied as an adult can be deeply distressing, often leading to significant emotional and psychological impact.
Bullying behaviour can be subtle and persistent, or it can be openly aggressive. A bully may deliberately harass you to feel in control. Their behaviour might be threatening, and you could find out that rumours are being spread about you, that you're being excluded from group activities, or that you're being undermined.
The victim of bullying might start questioning, What have I done to deserve this? But the answer is not within them. There are different reasons why some people bully. They might want to dominate others or improve their social status. Often, they lack remorse or fail to recognize their behaviour as a problem. They may struggle socially themselves or feel angry, frustrated, or jealous. Some may have learned these behaviours because they were victims of bullying themselves, have low self-esteem, and want to feel better about themselves. Others bully to get back at people they believe have wronged them in some way—whether in response to real or perceived wrongdoings.
Being targeted by a bully and experiencing direct and indirect aggression can leave you in a state of hypervigilance and stress. You might find yourself avoiding certain places or events out of fear of running into them. You may start withdrawing from others and feel ashamed to talk about what's happening to you. You could lose interest in your usual activities. Additionally, you might feel overly sensitive, have frequent crying spells, or experience angry outbursts. Sleep problems, poor appetite, or overeating are other signs of stress. It's also not uncommon to experience physical symptoms like headaches or stomach aches.
As a result, your work performance may suffer due to difficulty focusing, which could give a workplace bully more ammunition to use against you. Initially, you might try to brush off these incidents, thinking you're being overly sensitive. However, as the subtle bullying continues and stress builds up, the problems can only worsen if not addressed.
Dealing with bullying at work can be incredibly challenging, but you don't have to face it alone. By recognizing the signs, documenting the behaviour, and following the appropriate steps, you can protect yourself and take action to stop the bullying. Prioritize your well-being, seek support when needed, and remember that you have the right to a safe and respectful workplace.
Prolonged bullying can lead to serious long-term effects, including anxiety disorders, depression, eating disorders, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), substance abuse, sleep disorders, personality disorders, self-harm, suicide attempts.
If you or someone you know is in crisis, help is available now. NHS 111: Call 111 and select the mental health option, or use the NHS 111 online service.
Samaritans: Call 116 123 for free, confidential support from trained volunteers, any time of day or night
Shout Crisis Text Line: Text “SHOUT” to 85258, or “YM” if you're under 19.
Impact on bullies
Bullying doesn’t just hurt victims—it takes a toll on bullies’ mental health as well. In the short and long term, bullies may have: Increased levels of anxiety or depression, poor performance at work, problems with relationships, substance abuse problems, anger issues, trouble with violent behaviour, criminal activity, or antisocial behaviour. Sometimes bullies require professional help to address deep-rooted issues behind their behaviour.